Small Company

I am now working at the smallest company I have ever worked at in my adult life. ("The Dick Cavett Show," where I worked as a PA during its 13-week run on ABC in 1986, was about the same size. The Iowa Wrestling team, where I was a grad assistant coach from 1987-91, was larger, if you include Judy the office assistant and Brett Mangold the video guy.)

Here are the things I like about working at a small company:

I can wear jeans and not shave one day and no one notices.

There's pretty much one focus: build a business. Not "build a business, but don't step on Consumer Products' toes or go around Ad Sales, which is incompetent, or upset the mercurial head of Marketing or say anything bad about the chairman's son-in-law who heads eMedia."

If you have an idea, it probably hasn't been tried yet. At NBCU they've already automated the elevator system, outsourced accounting to Bangalore, and super-sized their shows during sweeps. At some point they'll have to start recycling old, boring, stale ideas like "create good shows."

At the end of every week I can state exactly what I accomplished.

Here are the things I don't like about working at a small company:

CFO stresses about cost of paper clips.

The foam arm of my chair is crumbling.

"Matching 401K? Ha-ha."

Lovely West 35th Street.

Slogans for Old Age

In honor of my dad's birthday today, some slogans for old folks:

"70 is the new 40."

"I'm so old all my clothes are back in style."

"I'm even better looking if you take your glasses off."

"I'm available. (For a limited time only.)"

"Geriatric Delinquent."

"I'm so old my grandkids are on Social Security."

"I'm not getting older, I'm getting--um...what was I talking about?"

"Age is a state of mind. Did I mention I'm senile?"

Kissing Betty Ford

Aside from Grace Coolidge, Betty Ford was the hottest First Lady. Not only that, she could mix a mean daiquiri. She was also the only First Lady I've ever kissed. So far, anyway.

Mr. and Mrs. Ford came to Durango in the summer of 1981, when I was working as a $3.50/hour radio producer at KIUP (AM 930, "Playing for You"). (No, I didn't write that great tagline, but I made several clever ads for Durango Travel Service, including one in which I did the voice of Robin and uttered the memorable line, "Holy travel carriers, Batman.")

But I digress.

The Fords were co-owners of the station, and while they were in town they took all the employees to the Bar-D Chuckwagon, north of Durango, for an outdoor supper and show. I sat a few feet down, on the same long bench. At the end of the show we all said our goodbyes. I shook Mr. Ford's hand, and then hugged Mrs. Ford and kissed her on the cheek.

Afterwards I thought, hmm, was that inappropriate to kiss the First Lady? I didn't know the protocol. No Secret Serviceman intervened, alas.

My impression was that they were genuinely nice people. And I'm truly sorry about the daiquiri joke above.

The British Skulls

Samuel and I went to see the debut concert of The British Skulls last night. The Skulls are a "girl group." By that I mean they are between the ages of 8 and 9. They played to a full house in the living room of the co-lead singer.

Unfortunately, all did not go smoothly. They belted out the first two numbers without incident. The first was called "We Rock," and the second had something to do with a ghost. But on the opening notes of the third, there was some sort of communication problem.

I think the actual words were, "Just shut up and play the song."

The keyboard player stomped off the stage, followed by the co-lead singers.

After about twenty minutes of crowd encouragement (and some parental intervention), two of the three members returned for an encore. One held her ground and refused to take the stage. But by the end of the evening they were friends again.

Nevertheless, this is probably the end of The British Skulls. Rock-and-roll takes no prisoners.

Digital Cow

Ethan just informed me that the cow on the person's head in the Laurie Berkner DVD commercial is "probably digital."

Questions Couples Should Ask Before Marrying (part deux)

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

Absolutely. Unless we're busy doing something really important like writing a blog entry or reading Hawkeye Wrestling message boards. But otherwise, yes, 100% of the time. It's critical.

In fact, Jennifer and I have honed our listening skills to the point where we can absorb most of what the other person is saying at a subliminal level without even paying all that much attention. Which allows us to, say, upload a YouTube video and complete an eBay transaction while discussing, say, our relationship. And efficiency is part of the glue that holds a marriage together. We both agree on that. At least I think we do. I recall Jennifer rambling on about it the other day. Or maybe she was talking about something else, I don't know.

But, yes. Definitely. Listening is key.

Worst Beatles Songs

While I procrastinate from editing holiday videos, I'll share something that's been on my mind for awhile. The White Album should've been a single rather than double album. There were some great songs on there ("Birthday," "I Will," "Julia"). But there were also some clunkers that someone should've said, "Um, guys..."

I'm thinking specifically of "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?," which, despite its initial shock value, is musically worthless. Then there's "Wild Honey Pie," "Revolution #9," and "Don't Pass Me By."

Those four alone probably account for four of the worst five Beatles songs ever. The fifth is a stumper, but if someone suggested "Good Night" I wouldn't argue. Or "Glass Onion." Whew.

Just for fun, a few other suggestions for #5:

Any of the instrumental tracks from the original "Help" album. Unless you're a sitar fan, you'll agree that these are un-listenable. Later releases of the "Help" album wisely left these out.

"Here There and Everywhere." The melody is sweet in a McCartneyesque kind of way, but, like many McCartney songs, the lyrics don't make any sense:

I want her everywhere
and if she's beside me I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere

Huh?

True, they're no worse than 90% of David Gates' lyrics ("Baby, I'm-a Want You"?), but the bar is lower there.

"Yellow Submarine." Listen to it again with a fresh ear.

"Octopus' Garden." Combines sloppy songwriting with Ringo's limited vocal talents. While we're on the subject:

"Act Naturally." John & Paul get a pass on this one, as they didn't write it. But they recorded it. And they let Ringo sing lead. (Sidebar: the Cowsills do an even worse version.)

"Blue Jay Way"...

Please don't be long
Please don't you be very long
Please don't be long
or I may be asleep

At least with Ravel's Bolero you get a climax at the end of the monotony. With "Blue Jay Way," you get the monotony and then..."or I may be asleep." That's the payoff line: "or I may be asleep."