What do you say to that?

(Ethan wails from the hallway.)

Todd: What happened??

Ethan: I fell!

Todd: Are you okay?

Ethan: No!

Todd: Let me take a look. Show me.

Ethan (scared): Is it bad??

Todd: No, it's not bad.

(Ethan wails hysterically.)

Todd: What? I said it's not bad.

Ethan: That's what you'd say if it was bad.

Laundry Lessons

If you want to be reminded how fast your children are growing up, do the laundry. Every week there's at least one article of clothing that gets discarded because the boys have outgrown it.

This week it was Samuel's red "Incredibles" pajamas. They were his favorites two years ago, when they hung somewhat loosely over his 8-year-old body. They had displaced his "Buzz Lightyear" pajamas as favorites, which had probably replaced--I don't remember now--probably Thomas the Tank Engine.

I love whatever age my kids are--I love seeing them reaching new milestones, trying new things, gaining confidence, growing up.

But--eek--I also don't.

I want them to be little boys forever. I want to be able to carry them on my shoulders forever, hear their sweet little giggles under the covers. I want to be able to hug them and hold their hands--and have them want to do the same.

I know the most important part of being a father is instilling love, and I know that will stay with them no matter what age they are, even after I'm gone.

But it's still hard to say goodbye to those little pieces of their childhood that slip away bit by bit, week by week, like the little red PJs of an incredible boy.

Boys' New Bed

The boys needed new beds. They'd outgrown their junior bunk beds, which had about 2 inches of space between the top and bottom and were apparently designed for Barbie.

So last weekend we went to Ikea and let them pick out new beds. I was expecting another bunk, or twins, or even a queen to share, but they chose a single with a pull-out trundle. ("COOL!" "I get to sleep in the pull-out part!" "No, I do!" "No, we'll take turns.")

Tonight we started setting it up in the boys' bedroom.

Samuel: No, I don't want it there.

Todd (humoring him, but confident that that's where it's going to go): Where do you want it?

Samuel: I want it here.

Todd: In the middle of the room? You want the bed in the middle of the room?

Samuel: Uh-huh.

Todd: Don't you think it'd look better against the wall?

Samuel: No.

Todd: See? Right here? There's a little nook that's exactly the right size.

Samuel: Uh-uh.

Todd: So it doesn't block the windows.

Samuel: I like blocking the windows so no one can see me.

Todd (brow beginning to twitch): Yeah, but that makes it harder to see out too.

Samuel: I don't care. It's like a little fort. See? The dresser blocks it off.

Todd: The dresser is only there because we had to move it away from the wall to put the bed in. That's not where the dresser is going to go.

You already know how this story ends,right?

Tooth-Loss Trauma

Two boys, two lost teeth (one trauma).

Ethan:
"I bumped into the dresser and knocked my loose tooth out. It fell out in my mouth and was covered in blood, so I went into the bathroom, and there was blood dripping down my mouth. Mom showed me in the mirror and took it out of my mouth, and it slipped out of Mom’s hand and fell down the drain. Mom put cotton in my mouth to soak up the blood. It also made my other loose tooth even looser. I'm going to write a note to the Tooth Fairy. Mom says the Tooth Fairy likes to have the tooth, but since the tooth went down the drain, I can just write a note to the Tooth Fairy telling her that it went down the drain."

Samuel:
"My tooth fell out last night, but I forgot to put it under my pillow, so I'll do it tonight. It fell out when I was chewing gum, and every time the gum went over that tooth it hurt. Then suddenly I felt a crunch and I felt a big gap in my mouth. I was in the middle of my piano class."

Ethan's New Word

"Literally."

Pronunciation: LIT-er-lee.

Definition: Really, Dad, I'm serious.

Usage: 6 or more times per day, to emphasize important points:

"There was this HUGE wave, it was about 10 feet high--LITERALLY."

"I haven't eaten at McDonald's in about three years--LITERALLY."

"I hate riding in rental cars. They're worse than taxi cabs. They make me throw up--LITERALLY." (Editor's note: Confirmed.)

Land of Make Believe

We decided to try a new waterpark this weekend. The choices were Camel Beach, in the Poconos; Splish Splash, in eastern Long Island; or Land of Make Believe, in western New Jersey.

Land of Make Believe won because it was the closest, cheapest, and it had amusement rides in addition to a waterpark.

It sounds kind of corny, and it is. It's one of those mom-and-pop amusement parks that started in the '50s with hayrides and a little train--and it still pretty much has that feel, although they've added a nice waterpark section.



There are no scary rides, so by definition no throngs of teenagers. The lines for the rides were relatively short.

The best attractions were the waterpark, which included tube slides, a lazy river, a pirate ship lagoon for little kids, and a water fort with tipping bucket (whoever invented that concept 10 years ago should've patented it). Samuel and Ethan also liked the Rockin' Tug, a non-waterpark ride, which was just scary enough to excite them without actually scaring them.



The worst attractions were the holdovers from the earlier days that no one apparently has the heart to kill: the candy cane forest (a bunch of plastic candy canes serving no discernable purpose), the maze (strips of an old plastic tarp), a talking scarecrow named Colonel Corn (manned by a 16-year-old hiding somewhere in a nearby building who was asking the 14-year-old girls ahead of us for their My Space pages), and Santa's Barn (aka the Enchanted Christmas Village), a windowless, mothball-smelling building with fake snow and--yes, Santa is actually there, even in July.

The biggest downer is that they make you exit the park through a bulding called the Cookie House--which doesn't sell any cookies! Duh!

Pool at Tallman State Park

When we were at Tallman State Park for the Studio School picnic in June, we went on an expedition to find the swimming pool, only to discover that it was empty.

So today the boys and I went back, via bus to Piermont, NY.

We figured we'd have the place to ourselves because it's kind of off in the woods, but there were quite a few people there.

The fun lasted less than an hour before a thunder clap compelled the lifeguards to clear the pool. We barely made it the half mile back to the bus shelter when there was a torrential downpour. We made it home alive.