Thought experiment

If you were to perish from the earth tomorrow, who are the people who would really, really miss you--five years from now?

Those are the people you should go hug right now.

Hot Weekend

We fled the 100-degree heat in the city on Saturday by renting a car and escaping to Ocean Grove, New Jersey. Nice town, clean beach, cold water, fun waves.




Sunday was spent doing about 27 loads of laundry and dressing up Bailey like a bumble bee.

A new way to discipline kids

"If you don't behave I'm going to make you watch Whitney Houston try to sing."

"Mom, how much do bullets cost?"

Back home again

Why do military people wear their fatigues when traveling on commercial airlines? Do they want everyone to think that they're going into battle the minute they step off the plane?

I appreciate the military, so I'm gonna let it go.

Anyway, I missed a lot of excitement while I was gone:

1. Kahlua had diarrhea and vomiting and had to stay overnight at the vet's.

2. Bailey peed on Ethan's bed.

3. One of the air conditioners konked out and had to be replaced.

4. Jen discovered a bill that we forgot to pay.

I'm not going to tell my family how much fun I had in Durango.

Durango, part 2

1. I did a book reading and signing this morning at Maria's Bookstore on Main Avenue...and some people actually showed up. The store has sold about 30 copies of my book--which is surely equal to the combined sales throughout the rest of the country. My mom is responsible for about 26 of them, but that still leaves 4.

2. My 30-year high school class reunion was actually quite fun. It was low-key, nobody tried to impress anyone else, and I was genuinely happy to see every single person there. "I like you because we went to high school together." That's the only way to explain it.

3. No, I didn't plot with the publisher to release my book just prior to my class reunion. Only a truly cynical person would suggest such an ugly thing. But thanks for thinking that I might have.

4. My brother, niece, and nephews took me hiking/jumping/sliding/swimming down a narrow gorge called Cascade Creek this afternoon. I've never used the expression "omg" before, but if I were going to, I'd use it now. (Yeah, we jumped from the top of that waterfall, and that was after I'd almost peed in my shorts from the first two we jumped off further upstream.)



5. How did Durango morph from the sleepy, dusty cow town from which I plotted my escape in 1980, to, like, the coolest, hippest town ever? Surely I haven't changed.

Big book news

From yesterday's Publishers Weekly:

Liza Baker at Little, Brown Books for Young Readers has bought world rights to Todd Tarpley’s Ten Tiny Toes, which follows the bond of love that guides a child through every big “step” in her life. Marc Brown will illustrate, for spring 2012 publication. Rachel Orr at Prospect Agency was the agent.

Book #2, baby. Yessssss. (Joy)

Whew. (Relief)

Wow... (Comprehension)

Remain calm, Todd. Don't run into the street and start removing clothing. You're a grown-up. You're a grown-up. (Self-regulation)

(Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!) (Internal celebration)

Read the manuscript here.