1. Don't run when the lifeguard is watching.
2. If the lifeguard whistles at you, pretend you didn't know it was against the rules.
3. Consume no more than 5 pieces of fudge before swimming. Unless it's really good.
4. Don't bother sucking in your gut; no one is looking at you anyway.
5. If you're standing next to a toddler in shallow water and he starts to make a face, get out of the water quickly.
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