It's my birthday

Here's what I've learned about life so far:

1. Marry a smokin' hot woman who will still look like she's 25 when she's 45. They say beauty fades, so it's good if she's also smart or nice or accepts you for who you are.

2. Choose good kids. Look for sense of humor, sweetness, and ticklishness.

3. Do what you love; the money won't follow. So far, my income from amateur wrestling, movie making, screenwriting, and children's book writing has been roughly enough to live in a trailer in rural West Virginia and eat squirrel for six months. But it was either that or the hedge fund thing.

4. What is everybody getting so stressed about? We're all gonna be dead in 50 years. Spread a little joy to cancel out all the a-holes out there.