There are flowers in the window boxes

There are people on this earth that I love. I need to make sure they know.

That's not a metaphor for flowers and window boxes.

I'm just thinking out loud. Lots of random thoughts and feelings.

I feel punched in the gut, hit by a train. I feel like so many things in life are out of my control, and nothing is permanent and nothing is solid, nothing can be counted on now, not even the big things that moved in sync with the moon and the sun and the planets and never wavered, and I counted on those things like I counted on the sun coming up.

And yet I feel blessed. I can be lost in self-absorption and pity and see a toddler, happy as a clam, and I just smile. There's so much beauty in the world amidst all the shit. I'm not the only one on this planet. 

And the sun keeps coming up, goddammit.

I need to make sure the people I love know that I love them.

I need to do a better job of that.