School Lunch on the Upper West Side

Todd: What's the best food at school?

Samuel: Wednesdays are the good lunches. Sometimes they have pancakes. Or pizza.

Ethan: Or chicken.

Samuel: Usually not chicken. Chicken is only on Friday.

Todd: What's the worst food?

Ethan: Couscous Surprise.

Todd: Oh my God.

Ethan: But some people actually like it.

Work

Ethan: What's your job?

Todd: Well...I manage six websites and email newsletters.

Ethan: But what do you do every day at work?

Todd: Um...I check my email, and I help the salespeople sell more ads, and I manage the people who make the websites, and I try to think of new ideas so that more people will visit the websites.

Ethan: Hmmm. That sounds like a pretty fun job.

Todd: What's your job?

Ethan: I'm the head of the Blue Puppy Spy Agency. I'm a spy. Also, I train other people to be spies too.

Todd: That sounds like a pretty fun job too.

Ethan: It is. But don't tell anyone.

Todd: Why not?

Ethan: Duh? It's a Spy Agency?

The Pope

Ethan (looking at newspaper): Who's that?

Todd: It's the Pope.

Ethan: Oh. I thought it was a king.

Todd: He's kind of like a king. He's the head of the Catholic Church.

Ethan: Oh. Did you know that some churches have free grape juice?

Ethan is in trouble

Ethan and his friend Aaron thought it would be a good idea to test the flexibility of the school's new silverware. They discovered that the forks, in particular, are quite pliable.

Now Ethan has to buy the school a new fork from his allowance money.

Last week he called his male Tae Kwon Do instructor "Ma'am." You know, as a joke. Well, without stereotyping, it seems that quite a few Tae Kwon Do instructors are into that whole creepy hierarchical honor and respect thing, so...long story short, it didn't have the effect Ethan was seeking.

Meanwhile, I'm realizing that all of his impulsive, inappropriate behavior can be genetically traced directly to me. And that Jennifer is beginning to realize this too.

Sorry, I've been working...

...and here's what I've learned.