Monday, October 27, 2014

5 Great Things About Holding Someone Else's Baby for 10 Minutes

1. You get the fresh baby smell without the poopy baby smell.

2. You get a baby smile and a baby hug without baby vomit.

3. You get a sweet baby giggle without 2AM baby shrieking.

4. You can tell yourself you are the BEST CAREGIVER EVER. You're like, "Look how much this baby loves me! Quick! Take a picture before he gets snot on my sweater."

5. You can tell everyone how you'd take five or six more babies--without having to actually raise them or put them through college.

(Sigh. I'd take five or six more babies.)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The pegleg they call Gitche Gumee

A few nights ago Jennifer tried to trim the jungle of wild fur around Bailey's front paws, but she went too far.

That inspired me to sing him a karaoke song tonight.

Turns out the line is actually "the BIG LAKE they call Gitche Gumee."


Does that ever happen to you?

Monday, October 13, 2014

Let the countdown begin

For 16 years I have been the not-shortest person in the Tarpley household. Jennifer has a half inch on me; like Tom Cruise and Michael J. Fox, shortness is part of my sex appeal. But it's going to be weird being the shortest of 4.

Samuel usurped the #2 spot AND #1 spot in the span of a few weeks sometime in 2012, and now he towers above both of us.

Now Ethan is poised to overtake me for the coveted #3 spot.

Can I hold him off until 2015? We'll see.