Monday, October 27, 2014

5 Great Things About Holding Someone Else's Baby for 10 Minutes


1. You get the fresh baby smell without the poopy baby smell.

2. You get a baby smile and a baby hug without baby vomit.

3. You get a sweet baby giggle without 2AM baby shrieking.

4. You can tell yourself you are the BEST CAREGIVER EVER. You're like, "Look how much this baby loves me! Quick! Take a picture before he gets snot on my sweater."

5. You can tell everyone how you'd take five or six more babies--without having to actually raise them or put them through college.




(Sigh. I'd take five or six more babies.)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The pegleg they call Gitche Gumee


A few nights ago Jennifer tried to trim the jungle of wild fur around Bailey's front paws, but she went too far.

That inspired me to sing him a karaoke song tonight.

Turns out the line is actually "the BIG LAKE they call Gitche Gumee."

Ah.

Does that ever happen to you?



Monday, October 13, 2014

Let the countdown begin


For 16 years I have been the not-shortest person in the Tarpley household. Jennifer has a half inch on me; like Tom Cruise and Michael J. Fox, shortness is part of my sex appeal. But it's going to be weird being the shortest of 4.

Samuel usurped the #2 spot AND #1 spot in the span of a few weeks sometime in 2012, and now he towers above both of us.

Now Ethan is poised to overtake me for the coveted #3 spot.

Can I hold him off until 2015? We'll see.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Mixed emotions


I'm happy that Ethan is riding the bus to school by himself this week.

It was his idea. He's going to be in high school next year. This is good preparation.

I'm worried about him getting off at the wrong stop.

I'm worried about him not having enough money on his card.

I'm worried about him not looking both ways when he crosses the street.

I will miss riding the bus with him every morning, the same way I miss holding his hand.

I will miss listening to him tell me what he dreamed about last night, how he got in trouble yesterday for talking in class, how his classmate Lulu actually likes homework, how there should be a reality show about people being forced to live like cavemen.

I'm happy that he's growing up.

I'm sad that he's growing up.



Friday, September 26, 2014

This is Samuel's inbox


I have a feeling the college process with Samuel is going to be more complicated than when I was in high school.