My birthday

Samuel was home

Things to do on an October weekend

1. Watch Ethan sing at his high school "coffee house" event. 

2. Rent a big-ass Chevy pick-up truck, the kind men in Iowa drive.

3. Pretend it's still summer by going rafting. Eat hot dogs and frozen candy bars. Be the only ones on the river except for a trio of hardy kayakers.

4. Get pumpkins on the way home. Put 'em in the back of your pick-up. Put your wet swim trunks back there too, and when you get back to the city, wonder what happened to them.

5. Eat Domino's with Ethan on Sunday night and be creative.

Things I appreciate on a long weekend

I'm thankful for Brother Jimmy's BBQ, and conversations about life and love and nothing in particular. I'm thankful that he confides in me, tells me his dreams, hangs on my shoulder now and then, asks my advice.

I'm thankful for the sound of the buzzer at 10pm and I know that Samuel is home. I'm thankful that he still falls asleep in my bed sometimes, that he still finds that comforting after all these years. He can crawl into my bed and fall asleep when he's 45 and I won't mind.

I'm thankful for warm weather, long hikes, tired muscles.

I'm thankful for cold mountain streams that you dip your shirt in and put it back on and it gives you a cold, refreshing shiver like it's still summertime. 

I'm thankful for new adventures, new friendships.

I'm thankful for cold beer, sleepy train rides, a soft smile. I'm thankful that my heart still beats.

I'm thankful for Central Park. I'm thankful to be able to run--in solitude, to ponder, to work through things. I don't even care how fast my legs go. Okay, I'm thankful that I can still blow past the slowpokes, even when my knees are sore from hiking the day before.

I'm thankful for corn dogs at midnight, the sensation of thwacking a ball with a metal stick, and for this wonderful city that never sleeps.

I'm thankful for these boys that I love more than anything in the world. 

I still hurt. Deeply. So deeply that I can't even describe it, just a pit of emptiness, like there has been a rift in the space-time continuum and I've suddenly been dropped into an alternate universe where everything is the same and yet completely different. And Biff is president.

But there is much to be thankful for, and I'm not gonna piss it away. I'm gonna embrace it and be thankful.

Tom Petty tribute

Just to be clear, that's Ethan on the left, circa 2009. 

I can't even remember where we got the guitar. If I had to do it again I'd cheat and Photoshop in the same make and model as Tom's guitar. 

Like this:

Storm King hike

Meet Josephine, my hiking companion this weekend.

Destination: Storm King State Park, about an hour north of Manhattan, near West Point. Neither of us had ever been there, but we chose it because it was close to the city and was classified as a "strenuous" hike. Neither Samuel nor Ethan wanted to go.

It was, in fact, strenuous. 

We went straight up a steep mountain, down the other side, then back again. It took four hours including short breaks for lunch, scenic overlooks, and selfies. We were enshrouded in fog for the first half of the hike, but it eventually cleared for some great views of the Hudson.

I was sore this morning. I confessed to Josephine that I took Ibuprofen today. She confessed the same.