Tuesday, August 31, 2010

If You Really Give a Pig a Pancake...

Your mom will walk into the kitchen and start screaming.

Your dad will come downstairs and yell at you for letting a barnyard animal into the house. You'll be grounded for a week.

You'll miss the Molten Eardrum concert that weekend. Your friends will all go and have a great time. They'll all get matching Molten Eardrum t-shirts and stop hanging out with you at school. They'll call you names like "Pig Boy."

You'll start spending a lot of time on the Internet. You'll get an email from someone who claims to be the Prince of Nigeria. He'll offer to give you one million dollars. You'll give him access to your parents' bank account so that he can deposit the money.

Your mom and dad will discover that all of their money is gone. They'll kick you out of the house. You'll ask them where you're supposed to go. Your mom will say, sarcastically, "Why don't you go ask your pig friend?" Your dad will say, "Why don't you go live with the Prince of Nigeria?"

Homeless, broke, and hungry, you'll break into a local pancake restaurant. The police will catch you.

You'll tell the judge it's all because you gave a pig a pancake. He'll have no idea what you're talking about.

Your first day at prison you'll meet a guy named "Pig" who is serving 30-to-life. He'll sit next to you in the cafeteria. He'll ask you for your pancake.

And chances are...

You'll give it to him.

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