"I know why dogs are always hungry"

"Because 5 hours in dog years is like 2 days."

Back on the charts, baby

Eureka. My book has made a stunning resurgence to #46,578 on Amazon, even making its way back into the top 100 "new baby" books, ranking just above some weird bilingual hide-and-seek book and just below the evil Beatrix Potter.

One of my relatives must've bought, like, six copies all at once, and it threw Amazon's ranking algorithm into a tizzy.

And while we're on the subject, may I just point out what an excellent Christmas gift "How About a Kiss for Me?" would make?

Thanksgiving video

Another Thanksgiving, another holiday family video. We've covered virtually every genre over the past 15 years, from horror ("The Lair B**ch Project") to game show ("Dysfunctional Family Feud") to reality ("The Apprentice: Marsha Brady") to teen dramedy ("Sixty Candles"). This year we checked daytime drama off the list.

For professional and personal reasons (e.g., some people in the family would like to remain employable), we don't post the movies on YouTube. Which is kind of lame, really, because who would want to work for a company that doesn't appreciate juvenile toilet humor anyway?

If you marry into the family you're automatically subscribed to the full slate of holiday videos in their entirety. In the meantime, all I can offer is a sneak peek...

The Beatles are now on iTunes...yawn

Did Yoko not realize that the entire free world already uploaded all their Beatles CDs to their iPods about 3 years ago? Whatever.

In celebration, here is never-before-seen archival footage of Samuel and Ethan from pre-iTunes days...

Tulsa

I was born here and spent the first five years of my life here...singing in the toddler's choir at Boston Avenue Church, skating at Parkey's Roller Rink on Mingo, opening Christmas gifts at the grandparents', walking to kindergarten with the smokin' hot Jenny Miller.

We made the trip down for Grandmother's funeral, and it was a good trip. We even made some new memories.

My family on the spot where my Tarpley grandparents' house once stood, now surrounded by the runways of Tulsa International Airport.


Samuel and Ethan showing their cousin Ryan the iPad.


My niece, Addie, looking for trouble.


Ethan's first time driving a Go-Kart by himself.


My cousin Mark and his wife Jenny, whom we'd definitely hang out with if we lived closer.


My own little family.


I feel very old and very young all at the same time.

New baby

Liza, the editor of my forthcoming second book, Ten Tiny Toes, just had a baby boy over the weekend. Welcoming someone new into the world takes away some of the sadness of saying goodbye to someone else.

Congratulations to Liza, and here is a reminder of why babies are the greatest invention of all time.

The Best of Grandma Needham

Here are some of my favorite memories...

Grandmother

My Grandmother Needham passed away last night. She was almost 96 years old, and I think she'd be the first to tell you that the key to happiness is to not live past 93.

I was blessed to have her for so long, and I'm grateful that Samuel and Ethan and Jennifer got to have her for so long as well. She was a grandmother to be shared.

Some things I've learned from her:

1. Smile.

2. Forgive.

3. Try not to giggle when you're bluffing in poker.

4. Make the world a better place because you were here.

I'll do my best to pass it on.

"Wipeout Island"

From wunderkind producer Ethan Tarpley ("Attack of the Evil Monsters and Spies," "Superhero Wrestling") comes the all-new reality/adventure TV series, "Wipeout Island!" Follow seven strange people as they face their greatest fears--each other! Who will be voted off? Who will survive? Who will vomit? Tune in and find out...on "Wipeout Island!

"Mom...?"

"If someone fell out of a plane into a ginormous bowl of rice, would they survive?"

"Dad, only 364 more days til next Halloween"

Another Halloween is in the books.

Samuel went as Marty McFly (surprise) and Ethan was a scary skeleton creature. We terrorized our own building before heading up to 95th Street to meet more friends from school.

I never did find the bag of candy that Jennifer bought a couple of weeks ago, and she still won't tell me the hiding place because she wants to use it again next year. But when she brought out the candy she was definitely coming from the direction of the bedroom. Note to self.

I had my fill of candy last night, and bought an additional $4 worth from one of Sam's friends, including Almond Joys, Reese's Cups, and Peanut Chews. Thank you God for people with nut allergies.