Sunday, April 14, 2013

How to install roller shades in only 7 months

Step 1: Buy shades. Store them somewhere convenient until you're ready to install them.

Step 2: Forget where you stored them. Finally locate them at the back of a closet that requires you to take everything else out to get to them.

Step 3: Start drilling the holes to hang the brackets. Go search for an extension cord when the power drill doesn't reach all the way. Find it at the back of the same closet.

Step 4: Try to screw in the screws with the drill, but quickly realize that it just makes a loud grinding noise and strips them. Screw them in by hand with a regular screwdriver. After thirty minutes, get them almost all the way in.

Step 5: When they stop going into the wall with 1/16 of an inch left, even after you've rubbed all the skin off your palm and are sweating like a pig, reluctantly unscrew them all the way and re-drill the holes a little deeper.

Note: on the very last one, if you force the drill a little too hard, you may notice that the drill bit actually comes out of the drill and embeds itself deep in the wall. If that happens, ignore it. The odds of ever using the drill again were slim anyway.

Step 6: Hang the shades. Sit back and enjoy.

Optional step: If you want the shades to pull down evenly rather than listing slightly to one side, you may want to consider using a measuring tape prior to drilling the holes. Whatever.

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