Boob Dylan

I don't know why I have it out for Bob Dylan.

But I do know that if I were invited to the White House to be honored by the President I think I could bring myself to take off my f-ing sunglasses for 10 minutes.

Is that, like, a big imposition?

But, hey, I'm not a big, important musical genius who rhymes "namin'," "ragin'," "agin'," and "fadin',"  with "a-changin'."

Dark Shadows

Ethan: "Duh. What shadow isn't dark?"

Camping with Samuel

I'm so sore I could barely walk to my computer to type this.

I took Samuel and his three 8th-grade classmates camping last night in Harriman State Park, about 45 minutes north of NYC.

What looked like a 1.5-mile hike ("maybe an hour") to the camping shelter took 3 hours. The trails were relatively well marked as far as trails go, but it was easy to miss turn-offs, which we did on multiple occasions. We didn't fully account for the steep terrain and subsequent necessary rest stops every 15-20 minutes. We only hiked to the nearest shelter; I can't imagine going farther.

We hoped to make camp with plenty of sunlight left to pitch our tent and make a campfire, but it was 9:15 and completely dark by the time we got there. It had rained all day Thursday, so the ground was damp and so was the firewood. We made a half-assed campfire by burning toilet paper.

We survived on Milky Ways, Hershey bars, graham crackers, marshmallows, cheddar bunnies, and Frosted Flakes.

We pulled about 10 ticks off each other.

Another group of hikers walked past with flashlights at about 10pm, so at least we weren't the biggest idiots.

We all had a good time, and we all smelled by the end of the trip.

I will have to do this again very soon...in my next lifetime.

Ethanism

"Who would ever name their child Zack Galafanakis?"

Ethanism

"As teenagers we're all under too much pressure."

Have a New Kid in 5 Days

This caught my eye at the bookstore. Sounded too good to be true.

Sure enough, there's a big caveat. You don't actually get a new kid in 5 days. You just get to erase the hard drive of one of your existing, dud kids.

For what it's worth, here's my 5-day plan for changing your child's attitude, behavior, and character:

Hug your child. Listen to your child. Tell your child you love him no matter what. Show him by example what's right and wrong, what you value in life, and how you treat other human beings.

Repeat every 5 days for the rest of your life.

Or...buy this book and condense the process into 5 days, saving yourself years of effort and aggravation.

Wistful

Wistful: When you step over a toy sword left on the living room floor by your 11-year-old son, and you smile thinking about how much fun it's been watching him grow up.