Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Worst Beatles Songs

While I procrastinate from editing holiday videos, I'll share something that's been on my mind for awhile. The White Album should've been a single rather than double album. There were some great songs on there ("Birthday," "I Will," "Julia"). But there were also some clunkers that someone should've said, "Um, guys..."

I'm thinking specifically of "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?," which, despite its initial shock value, is musically worthless. Then there's "Wild Honey Pie," "Revolution #9," and "Don't Pass Me By."

Those four alone probably account for four of the worst five Beatles songs ever. The fifth is a stumper, but if someone suggested "Good Night" I wouldn't argue. Or "Glass Onion." Whew.

Just for fun, a few other suggestions for #5:

Any of the instrumental tracks from the original "Help" album. Unless you're a sitar fan, you'll agree that these are un-listenable. Later releases of the "Help" album wisely left these out.

"Here There and Everywhere." The melody is sweet in a McCartneyesque kind of way, but, like many McCartney songs, the lyrics don't make any sense:

I want her everywhere
and if she's beside me I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere


True, they're no worse than 90% of David Gates' lyrics ("Baby, I'm-a Want You"?), but the bar is lower there.

"Yellow Submarine." Listen to it again with a fresh ear.

"Octopus' Garden." Combines sloppy songwriting with Ringo's limited vocal talents. While we're on the subject:

"Act Naturally." John & Paul get a pass on this one, as they didn't write it. But they recorded it. And they let Ringo sing lead. (Sidebar: the Cowsills do an even worse version.)

"Blue Jay Way"...

Please don't be long
Please don't you be very long
Please don't be long
or I may be asleep

At least with Ravel's Bolero you get a climax at the end of the monotony. With "Blue Jay Way," you get the monotony and then..."or I may be asleep." That's the payoff line: "or I may be asleep."

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