1. Our accountant says we're getting money back on taxes, so of course we ran right out and bought a 42" HDTV before the tax returns are even filed. No time like the present, I say.
2. I have the Chick Gene. It's the gene that, when someone comes into the office with a baby, causes all the women to suddenly surround the baby and start cooing. And every time it happens I'm always right there, and then I suddenly look around and realize I'm the only guy within a 50-foot radius.
3. Chick Gene, part 2. Am I the only guy in the northern hemisphere who doesn't like Pit Bulls? What is it with guys and Pit Bulls? I would sooner buy a NASCAR season ticket box seat next to Adam Sandler than get a Pit Bull. I don't get it.
4. Jennifer went out tonight. I put the boys to bed. After about 15 minutes, when I thought they were both sound asleep, Samuel suddenly said, "Tip: never take a lie detector test after you've been running."
5. NCAA Wrestling tournament started today. Let me be diplomatic and say the Iowa Hawkeyes suck. And there are all these apologists on the message boards making excuses for them. "He's a senior and we should thank him for all the contributions he's made to the program." Plllltttt. (Fart sound.) You either win or you lose. That's the contribution you make.
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