Softball Season Has Begun

Guest blog by my boss, Randall Lane:

LOWER EAST SIDE, N.Y. -- It's a rivalry four years running, as the dominant privately-held business and affluence media company of the 20th Century
(Forbes) has annually taken on the dominant privately-held business and affluence media company of the 21st century (Doubledown) in that proxy war known as softball. A rivalry fueled by this writer's previous role as the captain of the Forbes team. And a rivalry fueled by see-saw battle that saw Doubledown triumph once, and submit to spankings from Forbes two other times.

No more. The Fightin' Dunnings made capital T tools of the Capitalist Tools
17-7 Thursday night, a proper thrashing that signified a new era in softball and media dominance.

Who were the heroes? Too numerous to count. DDM's normal first inning defensive lapses were replaced by a 1-2-3 inning, courtesy of Ian Spanier's pitching and the third base gun of the ringer-de-jour, Robert Levine's college buddy Barry. Then came the runs, in bunches. Levine, clearly cut off from Spanier's steriod stash, had no home runs this time around, but was good for lacing doubles. Todd Tarpley swings like a college wrestler, yet still punched two key hits. Barry hit a home run. Rookie edit assistant David Perry, who clearly hadn't touched a bat since the Reagan Administration, muscled a hit. And suddenly, DDM was circling the bases like a cha-cha line, a force of offense not even the in-dugout chain-smoking of associate editor Scott Eden could slow. (Eden, reached for comment after the game, told this writer that he was merely serving as a role model for Tarpley's seven-year-old son, who was cheering dad on.)