If Sarah Palin Delivered The Gettysburg Address

Ya know, awhile back, when this great country of ours was formed, it was based on the, on the—what’s the word—ya know, the thought, the idea, that, doggone it, folks are created equal. And to that I say, "Darn tootin’."

But, boy-howdy, these are serious times, and right now, as ya know, we’re fightin’ a war that’s all about protecting our freedom and values and our way of life. And our commanders on the ground, General McClell—Kier—and so on, and so we’re gonna win it, by golly, we are.

Well, someone mentioned, I don’t know if you all realize it, but this actually used to be a battlefield. And so, ya know, I thought it’d be kinda nice to sorta dedicate it, ya know, as a final restin’ place for the folks who gave their lives so the rest of us folks might live. And their reward’s in Heaven, right?

So, I’ve gotta tell ya, it’s kinda, what’s the word—proper, I guess—that we should do this, dontcha think? But, ya know, I’m just your average hockey mom, and I guess you could say that makes me the ultimate Washington outsider, but it just seems to me that, golly, ya know, we can’t really make it any more special than the brave men and women from our armed forces have already made it, am I right? I mean, God bless ’em.

So, anyways, because of that and such, I’m guessin’ the world’s probably not gonna remember all that much about what we say here today, and even if they do it’ll prolly be all filtered and distorted by the liberal media.

But, to be serious for a minute, and I’m just gonna give you the straight talk here, the world can’t forget what those other brave folks did here, it really can’t. And you know, we—us regular folks, Joe Six-Pack, soccer moms and what not—ya know, we gotta step up and continue their work, really get our hands dirty. As we say up there in Alaska, apply a little elbow grease, and just, ya know, get the job done. Cause, ya know somethin’? This nation under God is gonna have a new birth of freedom—I believe that, I really do, by jiminy. And this government of the people, by the people, ya know, about the people and so forth—it’s not gonna perish from the earth. At least not until Armageddon.