Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Freezer cleaning


Jen and the boys left for Illinois today to visit the grandparents. I'm flying out tomorrow evening, so I took advantage of my night alone by--wait for it--cleaning all the crap out of our freezer.

Jennifer packs our tiny freezer to the gills, and I honestly don't know why. It's not like we live in rural Montana and don't have access to fresh meat. Zabars, West Side Market, Fairway, and about 400 other places that sell meat are located within a few hundred yards of our apartment. I'm quite confident I could secure some meat for my family within approximately 4 minutes--8 in a raging blizzard. And it would taste better than the frost-covered stuff in our freezer.

Don't get me started on the fridge. There was an unopened package of bacon with an expiration date of mid-July, on top of an unopened package of bacon with an expiration date of mid-June, on top of an unopened package of bacon with an expiration date of mid-May.

I found a couple of items from 2010 in there.

Have I been laid off so often that I've caused Jennifer to have a fear of starving? Is it the early stages of hoarding? Are we going to be featured on an A&E show next year? Wouldn't the money we waste on uneaten groceries be better spent on a DeLorean?

Maybe I'm the crazy one for being so anal-retentive that I can't wait to have the apartment to myself so that I can furiously throw crap away before the rest of the family gets back home.

But it feels so right.

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