There was only one big story in Iowa this week, and it wasn't the Caucuses. It was Iowa vs. Okie State, also known as Good Guys vs. Bad Guys, Men vs. Schoolgirls, or Attack Your Opponent Mercilessly While He Tries to Crawl Off the Mat in Front of 14,000 Screaming Fans.
The announcer says "Your Iowa Hawkeyes," the team emerges from the tunnel, headgear flapping in their hands, and chaos erupts, with the Iowa Fight Song fueling the cheers. 14,000 loyal Hawk fans, decked in black and gold, have filled Carver-Hawkeye Arena to the gills on a cold winter night to see this.
For 10 Hawkeye wrestlers, this is what's called a big night. If they win, it will rank among the happiest moments of their entire lives. They'll be telling their grandkids what it was like to beat Okie State at Carver Hawkeye Arena. (They'll tell their wives their wedding day was the happiest moment of their lives, but they'll be lying.)
If they lose--you don't even want to think about that.
Well, tonight...not only did the Hawks lose...they stunk. They wrestled like they had the flu. Like 8th grade schoolgirls who just finished running a mile in gym class. They were out-slicked on their feet, out-hustled from the top, ridden like Christmas ponies on the bottom.
It is a sad night in Iowa City, and in an apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
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