If you're not familiar with Wisconsin Dells, it's exactly like Tahiti, only without all the annoying sand and ocean and palm trees. Plus, it has a lot more waterparks, mini-golf, and places to buy moccasins.
To my knowledge, there has never been a jellyfish sting or shark attack in Wisconsin Dells. About the worst thing that can happen to you is that you eat some bad fudge.
I'm not sure there's much else to say on the subject. Roll tape.