I am very happy. I have a new job at Parents.com, which I think is the perfect job for me. Samuel just got accepted to his top two high school choices. I got a request from an editor to revise a book manuscript, which is promising. And I have a big scar on the side of my face.
Four weeks ago I didn't think I was going to get the job, and I feared it was my last good shot at working in a genre I'm passionate about. My freelance job was winding down, I didn't have another job lined up, and even though I pretended not to be stressed, I was.
Then I went to the dermatologist and found out I had early-stage skin cancer, just to put an exclamation point on it.
I felt like, well, so I'm either going to work at jobs that I hate for the rest of my life, or I'm going to have no job at all, or maybe I'll just die young and not have to drag it out.
Fast-forward four weeks. I have a scar, but no more skin cancer. A good trade. I got the job. Samuel will go to a high school that appreciates him. (At least the admissions director.) Maybe I'll sell another book, maybe I won't, but I'm in there swinging.
What have I learned from the past four weeks?
Things can turn on a dime. From bad to good. From good to bad. You never know. There was a family in Connecticut that lost three young daughters in a fire in their home on Christmas Eve. Things can go from great to horrific in the blink of an eye, and you have absolutely no control. You have to make plans, and have dreams, and keep moving forward. But you never know. You can't control everything. You can't.
On the day that Samuel was born I said I'd never complain about anything again for the rest of my life. Whatever happens, I've been blessed to watch two beautiful roses bloom. I need to remember how blessed I am.
I need to stop complaining about all the little things. And all the big things. I need to take a deep breath. Enjoy my life while it lasts. Tell Jennifer I love her. Tell Samuel and Ethan I love them. Smile at a baby. Write more. Spread a little joy.
And be thankful. Be really, honestly, super-f-ing thankful.