Who is Lawrence Welk?

OMG, I'm, like, so old.

I walked by a colleague's desk today and there was a picture of a conservative-looking man in his 60s--apparently her father. And, thinking I was being funny, I said, "Why do you have a picture of Lawrence Welk on your desk?"

And she said, seriously, "Who's Lawrence Welk?"

So I thought, well, okay, so she's a little light on her cultural literacy. So I asked the person at the cubicle next to her, just to reassure myself, "You know who Lawrence Welk is...right?"

And that person said no. And so did the guy in reception waiting for the elevator, and Tony the assistant down the hall, and Nora the circulation director ("Wait--is he a producer?"). 0 for 5.

Now, I'm not saying it's really all that important, in the scheme of things, to know who Lawrence Welk is. But...this raises a whole new set of insecurities for me. If I make some sort of off-the-cuff comment about, say Olivia Newton-John, will anyone know what I'm talking about? Can I still make a reference like, "She's a regular Marsha Brady?" without seeming like I'm 80? God forbid I should say, "Hey, look at the guy in the white suit, it's Colonel Sanders." Everyone will be texting to their friends: omg he's clueless.

All right, I have to go help Ethan fight some computer battle on Planet Teenager or whatever.