My Highs and Lows

The current highs and lows of my life:

Good:
We have AfterEffects. Samuel and I are slowly learning how to do green-screen video effects.


Bad:
We've had no time to finish Ethan's movie, "Attack of the Evil Monsters and Spies." We're down to the special effects editing, but each scene takes a block of time to figure out how to do. I have a 45-second attention span. That's a bad combination.

Good:
My manuscripts are getting positive feedback from several editors. No one is saying, "Please, don't send more." My agent hasn't dumped me. All I can do is keep writing. That's the only part I can control.

Bad:
I haven't sold a second manuscript. Book #1 is delayed until 2010. I need to sell another manuscript in 2009 in order to feel like a real writer. I'm feeling like Billy Ray Cyrus, Right Said Fred, and Frankie Goes to Hollywood all rolled into one: a one-hit wonder, and my book isn't even out yet. I'm not writing enough. I need more time at night. I need to be more disciplined. I hate stressing out about it, but I can't help it.

Good:
I'm playing on the company softball team. We suck. If we were twice as good, we'd still suck. The other teams suck too. That's me sliding into third. Look--the stupid third baseman doesn't even have the ball, and he's coming to try to tag me out. Sucking is a great thing. It takes all the pressure off.


Bad:
My kids are growing up so fast. I don't mind getting old--there's only one way to avoid that, after all--but...I don't want Samuel to start growing facial hair. I just don't.

Good:
I walked home from work yesterday through Central Park. It's spring. Summer is coming. Little kids in strollers are everywhere. I want to play chase through sprinklers and have tea parties with every toddler in the world. (Okay, I didn't actually see Katie Holmes and Suri, but that's not the point.) Why would anyone who is rich continue to work in an office, spending their days having meetings about productivity, capex, and ROI? For the life of me I can't understand it. (And, on a side note, is Suri not the cutest baby ever?)


Bad:
I'm not rich, so I have to work in an office and spend my days having meetings about productivity, capex, and ROI. I can't play chase through sprinklers and have tea parties with toddlers. Even if I were rich I wouldn't be able to play chase and have tea parties with toddlers, because their moms would say, "Who the hell is that old bald guy trying to play with my kids? He should be at work with the other white bald men having a meeting about productivity and capex. Police!"

Good:
I'm employed. In 2009, that makes me practically a rock star. Did you hear me complain? No, that was the guy down the hall in Provisioning. His productivity is too low and his capex is too high.

Good:
My family is healthy. My wife, my sweet boys, my parents, my siblings. Like all good things, it is an all-too-short window, I know. Appreciate the big things.