Wednesday, April 6, 2011

How to drink 2 milkshakes in 10 minutes

1. See a Mister Softee truck on your way home from work. Think, "Man, if I weren't trying to lose a few pounds, and if I weren't about to have dinner, I'd probably get a milkshake."

2. Walk ten feet past the Mister Softee truck, then stop and think, "I know! I'll have a milkshake for dinner! I'll order it with a banana so that it's healthy, like a protein shake. I really don't drink enough milk anyway."

3. Order a black-and-white milkshake with a banana. Order a cherry freeze for your youngest son. Order another black-and-white milkshake for your oldest son--but this one without the banana.

4. Take the drinks home in a bag. Give the cherry freeze to your youngest son. Take a drink of one of the milkshakes--it's the one with banana in it. Give the other one to your oldest son.

5. Drink the milkshake with the banana in it in about five long straw sucks. Think, "Man, that was good. I'm glad I ordered that for dinner. I'm feeling healthier already."

6. Wait for your oldest son to come out of the bedroom--his milkshake tastes like bananas. Stupid Mister Softee guy--I TOLD him no banana in the second one. What an idiot!

7. Give the second milkshake to your wife. Watch her set it on the table. Watch it begin to melt. Ask her if she is going to drink it. She says no, she isn't.

8. Drink about half of it, quickly, just because you hate to see a perfectly good milkshake go to waste, then set it back down while you check your email.

9. Think, "Oh, man, am I ever full. I should NOT have drunk part of that second milkshake. I'm going to be sick."

10. Drink the rest of the second milkshake.

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