Saturday, July 18, 2015

Hammerstein: the forgotten existential years

[Scene: Living room of Oscar Hammerstein. He stares out the window, an empty glass and overflowing ashtray on the piano next to him. Richard Rogers enters.]

Rogers: Hey, Buddy, how are the lyrics coming?

Hammerstein: You mean to the Nazi Nun?

Rogers: We're going to call it "The Sound of Music," remember?

Hammerstein: Right. An uplifting musical about death and fascism.

Rogers: It's about good overcoming evil.

Hammerstein: Whatever.

Rogers: What did you think of the music for the Do-Re-Mi song? Did you start on the lyrics yet?

Hammerstein: Yeah, I'm done.

Rogers: Really? You've been so depressed lately.

[They sit at the piano.]

Hammerstein: Dough...a pile...of cold hard cash. Ray...a gun that shoots you dead. Me...the only thing I love. Fatawa, a bullet to your head.

Rogers: Fatwa? I don't even know what that--

Hammerstein: --I don't quite have the metric there yet.

Rogers: ...It's awfully cynical.

Hammerstein: It's set in Nazi Austria.

Rogers: Listen, I thought we discussed this. No more Nietzsche. Not even Camus. It just puts you in this weird funk.

Hammerstein: The next part is lighter.

Rogers: Okay, go ahead.

Hammerstein: So...a word that means who cares? La...the start of la-ti-da. Tee...a shirt my grandpa wears. Back to Doh and blah, blah, blah.

Rogers: Get your swimsuit. I'm taking you to a water park.


  1. I love it. I could just imagine them saying that while creating the Sound of Music. I love your creativity.

  2. Thanks, Allison. The cynicism is from hanging around Ethan.