Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Four Bears, by Todd & Samuel Tarpley


Once upon a time there were four bears. Smart Bear, Stupid Bear, Stinky Bear, and Completely Bear.

"Let's go for a walk and let our porridge cool," said Smart Bear. "So we don't burn our esophagi."

"Let's leave the door unlocked in case some girl wants to break into our house," said Stupid Bear.

"Can we stop by the store and pick up some underarm deodorant?" said Stinky Bear.

"Look at me!" said Completely Bear. "I'm naked!"

Moments after the bears left, a strange girl knocked on their door. Why would a girl alone in the woods knock on the door of a bear's house? I don't know. But she did.

No one was home. So she went inside.

"Mmmm, soup," she said. "Or maybe it's porridge, I can never tell the difference."

She took a big bite from the first bowl and said, "Too crunchy." So she decided to eat the porridge instead of the bowl.

"Yeeeeaaaaaoooowwww!" she screamed.

When the bears returned, they found her passed out on the floor, steam coming from her esophagus and ears.

"Hmmm," said Smart Bear. "I think it's possible that the porridge was too hot."

"By the way, did somebody say something about four beers?" said Stupid Bear. "I'm thirsty."

The End

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